Majority of adults who struggle with psychological difficulties like depression, social anxiety, difficulty trusting others, low self-confidence, worry and difficulty relaxing, procrastination, perfectionism or different kinds of addiction, invariably have history of childhood physical or emotional abuse. The trauma or impact is deeper and more complex when the abuse is by one’s own parent, whom the child loves, trusts and depends on.The younger the child is, the more irreversible and widespread the impact can be. Such abused children are also frequently exposed to other adverse experiences like parental discord, domestic violence or parental substance use.
Often the physical, psychological and social consequences are not understood or acknowledged by others or even the person themselves. The person struggles with shame and guilt over not functioning efficiently as others or not being able to meet expectations. Often the person also internalises the abuser, continuing to treat oneself cruelly, without the self-compassion one really deserves.
The abusive parent themselves would have history of childhood abuse and trauma. And an abused child is more likely grow up to be an abusive adult too. This cycle of violence and damage can be prevented through initiatives that support trauma healing in adults and children. An immediate step each of us could take is to be aware of strong emotional reactions in oneself and working on them, so that we can respond and behave in ways that we really want to as a person.
Today’s child is tomorrow’s humanity, hence must bloom without scars or damage!